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PostNapisane: 30 kwi 2003, 16:59 
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C&P z oficjalnych boardow.

This just in, reports are streaming from numerous sources that the massively successful MMORPG Everquest has declared war on Shadowbane and are invading.

The invasion began earlier this morning. Hold on... just a moment...

Yes! We have a interview coming in from one of our in field reporters, live via satellite feed - Pellinore, can you hear me?

(You see the city of Khar, Jammed packed with refugees. Out side the gate you see Pellinore standing with a army camoflauge jacket and holding a microphone)

P: "Hello Rick, are we live?"

R: "Yes Pellinore, we are currently live, can you describe what you are seeing?"

P: "Well, All hell has broken lose. Khar is currently under siege by a coalitation of players from the gaming universe EQ from across several servers. Aparrantly the siege began earlier this morning with several groups were ported in via their druid or wizard transports at the rune gate. Right now we're on the way to have an interview with the leaders of this invasion force, we'll let you know when we've arrived safetly, back to you."

R: "Thankyou, Pellinore. This is apparantly another force is moving towards the city of Knights Cross. Now we'll go to one of our correspondents there - Mycrof?"

(A fuzy image of a red irekei wearing only irekie pants comes into view. He stands on top of the Knight Crossing's battlements on the north gates. In the distance you see camp fires.)

M: "Rick, can you hear me?"

R: "Yes, Mycrof, you're coming in loud and clear>"

M: "Are we not live yet?"

R: "We're live Mycrof, can you - "

M: "Hello? Are we on air yet?"

R: "Mycrof -

M: "Are we live yet?"

R: "We seem to be experiencing some techincial difficulties. While we wait for the feeds to get through, we have some streaming news to -"

M: "Okay Rick, I think we got it fixed."

R: "Great, okay, Mycrof, can you describe what is happening?"

M: *Stands there waiting*

R: "Mycrof?"

M: "Oh, sorry, okay, we're live. Let's make this a good one folks. Turn the camera on - how do I look?"

Cameraman: "We're rolling"

M: "You Fu- uh, I mean. Hello Rick. Things are chaotic and the tension is high here at KC. The coalitions forces have surrounded the city and have currently been making incuriary attacks but have been keeping their primary forces at bay."

R: "Can you describe the attacks?"

M: "Well, it's the wierdest thing. They keep sending one man, wearing from what I can see only cloth armor, and holding 2 sticks who comes up, throws what appears to be a shuriken at one of our guards, and then immediately runs away. Part way back to the enemy forces he suddenly just falls over, apparantly dead."

R: "Could it be that the invaders are not suited to breath in our atomsphere and simply die from the exertion?"

M: "Well Rick, we thought that may be the case, but the person seems to recover pretty quickily, Hold on, Oh God, it's and attack!?"

/shout ">>>>INCOMING ARCHER GUARD<<<<"

/shout2 "Wait for the assist!"

/shout2 "Is chat still down?"

M: "Are you getting this???"

The camera man pans to the actions. You see an large figure loom over the archer holding 2 glowing swords, one red and the other blue.

/shout2 "ASSIST ---=> Archer Guard <=--- ASSIST"

/shout3 "COMPLETE HEAL, 10 SECONDS, CLERIC 2 START IN 5!!"

/shout "ALL MELEE IN!"

/shout4 "COMPLETE HEAL, 10 SECONDS, CLERIC 3 START IN 5!"

/shout2 "ALL NUKE HARD NOW! WATCH FOR RAMPAGE!!"

/shout4 "Are we pulling yet?"

/ooc1 "WOOT! HAHAHA! Archer Guard PWNED! What he drop??"

/ooc2 "Loot will be awarded by the point system. Main looter, examine the corpse."

/ooc3 "Bah, this is crap loot, not even a fine steel weapon. Okay, whoever wants a bow, random 100 900"

648
456
997
234
543
264
245
143
234
101
234
553
754

/ooc "LOL, I Suck! 101!"

/ooc5 "Umm, who rolled 997??"

/ooc3 "This sucks! I never win anything! Why don't we use the point system??"

/shout2 "Calm down, the good stuff will probably drop off the KC boss."

(Camera pans back to Mycrof whose standing there with a dumbfounded look)

M: "What the hell just happened?? Holy crap, are they idiots? Don't they know everyone can hear them..."

/shout1 "CAMP CHECK?"

/shout2 "KC"

/shout3 "KC"

/shout4 "KC"

/shout5 "Emporer Crushbone"

/shout2 "LOL!!"

/shout1 "ROFL!"

M: "Rick, I have to say, this is the wierdest siege I've ever experienced. Not only are they doing nothing to hide their communication, but they're apparantly all retards."

/shout3 "Can any1 KEI?"

/ooc4 "INC MGB KEI 30seconds"

/ooc1 "Hello?? I've been asking for Haste for like 5 minutes now!"

M: "This is really... something..."

/shout1 "Okay, get ready for next pull, we don't want it it respawn - holy crap, it's back already! Anyone keep time on this??"

/shout2 "Sorry, I will next time.."

R: "I'm sorry Mycrof, Pellinore has just arrived at the enemy camp, and is coming to us live with an interview with the coalition's leader"

R: "Pellinore?"

P: "Yes Rick, I'm here live with the leader of the invading forces, Tofumalo"

Tofumalo: "You a GM?"

P: "A what?"

Tofumalo: "Oh you must be starting an event, Cool! I thought all guides and GMs names were green though."

P: "Huh?"

Tofumalo: "This is a cool expansion. I didn't like LoY, and PoP was okay, but it got boring. This is almost like a whole new game!"

P: ".... Um, huh, well. I'm here to interview you about you invasion of khar and KC."

Tofumalo: "Oh, is this a roleplaying even. Wow, will we get a story on the sony live sight??"

P: "I'm sorry, I'm a little confused.."

Guard1: "I think he wants you to play along with him."

Tofumalo: "Oh, right. Well, We have come from our home land of Freeport and now seek to spread the domination of the Freeport Militia to this land!"

P: "Freeport!?! But why? Why would you attack us?"

Tofumalo: "Because umm... Oh crap, take to Hottie. She's good at roleplaying."

(There's a sound in a back ground and a dark purple female walks into view wearing a red robe and holding a staff that resembles a serpent)

P: "Is hottie your public relations person?"

Tofumalo: "Something like that..."

Hottie: "We have come to reft the life from all those who refuse to bow down to Innoruuk!"

P: "Whose he?"

Hottie: "Behold his likeness!"

At this she lifts up her robe and exposes here stomach which has a tattoo of the face of a very ugly person with a long long pointy nose. You notice the camera is nearly dropped.

P: "Oh WOW!"

Hottie: "You have seen his face, it is good you know the one who sows seeds of hatred and will destroy you're civilization!"

P: "Oh sorry, Could I get another look please? I think I missed the face..."

Hottie: "No you may not..."

P:

P: "Umm, well, Hottie, Your armies tactics has confused us. You apparantly only kill one of our guards or players at a time. Isn't this awfully slow?"

Hottie: "We don't want to wipe... A CR is a pain here... Do you know how hard it is to get in this zone?"

P: "No, not really.. zone?"

Hottie: "Well, you have to defeat ALL the gods, and get to the boss in the Plane of Time! THEN we had to buy this new expansion call "EQ Invasions!" And each time we tried to get into this zone we kept getting this "Server is Busy" message."

P: "So, on your planet, is there water?"

At this a lizard named Monkeeeeee runs in.

Monkeeeee: "This zone sucks, the drops are crappy here and the respawns are way to fast. They need to nerf this zone..."

Tofumalo: "Hmm, maybe this guy has a drop, he's a named isn't he?"

Hottie: "looks like it to me, what's he con to you? Let me DC his pet"

P: "Pet, what pet?"

Cameraman: "As you wish, oh spendid one!"

At this the camera lens repeatdly hit Pellinore in the face.

P: "Will you stop that!"

Tofumalo: "This is taking too long, better haste your pet."

A cameraman is infused with the spirit of shissar.

The camera lens being to move so fast it blurs.

P: "Oh this is just stupid, back to you Rick."

R: "Thanks Pellinore... Tell the Cameraman he's fired. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just gotten word that a large force of Silent Tribe members are now moving towards KC to intercept the invasion force, we now switch to mycrof."

M: "So anyway, I told her that it wasn't always that size, it was just cold, and that makes it shrink. I'm pretty sure she believe me too, cause she gave me that, you know kind of 'knowing' smile -"

Cameraman: "We're live, Mycrof"

M: "How long have we been rolling???"

Cameraman: "Since you've were talking about shrinkage."

M: "GOD darn YOU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOUR SORRY arse YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU NEVER WARN ME! I SWEAR I'M GOING TO -"

R: "Um Mycrof, hows it look out there?"

M: "Oh, uh *Cough*"

M: "Well, the enemy force has been pulling the same archer guard for the last hour. Nothing new."

/Shout1 "This sucks, no Drops!"

/ooc2 "Hey, anyone check on emporer lately?"

M: "Oh, looks a large force of Silent Tribe has just arrived and is engaging the enemy."

/druid1 "CHOOO CHOOO TRAIN CHOOO CHOOO, MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!"

/shout2 "Thnx for the warning jerk!"

/shout3 "This is why drOOds are nOObs!"

/shout2 "U SUX, drOOd!"

/shout4 "YOUR HEALER IS UNDER ATTACK!!"

/ooc1 "darn, who keeps breaking my messes??"

/ooc2 "AE AE AE!!"

/shout1 "ALL MONKS AND SK FD! CLERICS CAMP OUT!"

SilentTribe1: "Okay, if ganking all the rank2s and camping the city wasn't enough to kill you, the fact you spam so much is."

/shout2 "OMFG, THESE MOBS ARE GM CONTROLLED!"

/ooc1 EVAC EVAC EVAC!!

At this, chunks of the army begin to vanish.

M: "What the hell just happened?"

....Meanwhile back near Khar....

Hottie: "This pet sucks."

Tofumolo: "Yeah, no kidding. It's taking forever..."

Pellinore: "I swear, if you hit me with that camera lens one more time I'm going to take it and shove it so far up your arse that you'll have to focus with you epiglotis..."

Monkeee: "Umm, half the raid just recalled to freeport."

Tofumolo: "WHAT??"

Monkeee: "Apparantly they were attacked by a GM controlled train."

Tofumolo: "No [censored]?"

Hottie: "Hey, the rangers are saying there's a large force of red skinned drow coming."

Pellinore: "Okay, that's it, give me that camera."

Tofumolo: "Hmm, we don't have enough to handle all those adds. Let's all evac out and reschedule after our HoT raid."

Hottie: "k, i'll tell the leaders."

Suddenly the Camera jostles around the room. You hear the tearing sound of cloth and a close up of the camera man's butt just before everything goes black.

As the feed is lost, you only hear a very startled gasp.

******
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Posty: 3420
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PostNapisane: 30 kwi 2003, 17:26 
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Fajny sketch ino troche przydlugasny.Ale niezle sie ubawilem czytajac go!


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"Ja się nie znam, ale chętnie się wypowiem" - Stanisław Tym

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PostNapisane: 1 maja 2003, 01:33 
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HAHAHAHAH!!
Zajebiste! :smile:

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PostNapisane: 1 maja 2003, 12:29 
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heheh ze sie tak wyraze "Zajebiste" :grin:


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Z racji swojej niestabilności emocjonalnej oraz rujnowania rozrywki innym na zawsze opuściłem to zacne forum z resztkami nasienia Oyci3C'a na okrężnicy po głębokim bansticku. :'(

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